Caveman
by armlessphelan
Summary: <html><head></head>So. Britt might have walked in on the aftermath of her best friend sleeping with her new brother.</html>


"You actually slept with him?" Britt looked at her coffee, decided it wouldn't be enough, and dumped it into the sink. Then she grabbed the whiskey bottle kept in the cupboard and filled her mug with that instead. "Brad, he's straight. He's also my brother."

"First of all, he's not that straight. Apparently he had a boyfriend at his preppy all boys boarding school. Then he graduated, went to a police academy, and went back in the closet. Apparently, bisexuality isn't very popular amongst the boys in blue. And you never told me your brother was off limits." Grinning, Brad spread the cream cheese over his bagel.

The whiskey burned as Britt downed it, but she immediately refilled her cup.

"What about Lucas? Are you really over everything he put you through? I mean, the stalking, being chained to a wall: does any of this ring a bell?"

"That is so a few months ago. Seriously. You act like one crazy white boy is gonna ruin all of them for me. Clearly you underestimate just how quickly I can bounce back from shit like that."

"I definitely underestimated how much of a slut you are." Britt snatched the bagel from Brad's hand and used her teeth to rip a chunk out of it. "Just for the record, I'm telling you now, Nathan is off limits."

"You might wanna tell him that yourself. He's in the shower." Brad fished another bagel out of the bag and walked over to the toaster.

Britt put the mug down and grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it. This could not be happening.

"Wait. You didn't know he was here? You missed his jeans and the black t-shirt on the floor by the bed? Then how the hell did you know we hooked up?" Brad grinned lewdly, but Britt looked away from him and to the bedroom door. Now that she was listening for it, she could hear the shower running.

"Please do not talk about hooking up with my brother. Do not tell me who did what to who or for how long or any of that stuff."

"Can I at least tell you he's loud?" Brad snorted.

She fought the urge to throw the whiskey bottle at his head. It would be a waste of strong booze. Britt needed the booze. "What about Maxie? I thought he was dating Maxie."

"She dumped him. It's why he was drinking at The Floating Rib. He probably didn't match her shoes or something." Brad shrugged and grabbed his new bagel when it popped out of the toaster. He tossed it from hand to hand until he reached his plate on the tiny table they used for eating. He plopped it down wiped his hands on his shirt.

"But why you?"

"Why not me? Are you trying to say something?"

"Just that Nathan is hot and you're decent at best. I could buy Lucas going for you because he was insane and his hair was a tragic wreck, but my brother is an upstanding guy and you're a garbage human being." Britt took another swig from the bottle in her death grip.

Brad scraped the crumbs from the butter knife before using it to scoop out some more cream cheese. "You're calling me garbage when you conspired with a toddler to win back your ex. A gay as fuck toddler at that."

"I never said I was perfect. Also, Spencer isn't a toddler. He's, like, seven or something."

"But you agree that he's gay?"

"I've been in his bedroom. He has a life size Elsa doll and he brushes her hair while singing 'Let It Go' from Frozen. He used to walk around in my clothes. Spencer is gayer than you, Brad. And Nik is in massive denial about it." Britt smiled as she remembered the time Spencer told her he couldn't wait to be old enough to wear bras. She loved that kid like he was her own.

Before their conversation could continue, the bathroom door opened. Steam spilled out of the doorway and Nathan emerged, damp and glistening and wearing nothing but a towel. Britt had to remind herself that they were siblings, pointing her eyes to the ceiling.

"Oh, um. I left my clothes out here. Sorry."

Britt heard Nathan scramble around the small apartment as he gathered his things, then finally lowered her eyes when she heard the bathroom door close. She sat the bottle on the counter and walked over the Brad, smacking the back of his head.

"Hey!" Brad yelped, even though Britt didn't hit him hard enough to actually hurt him. "What was that for?"

"It was for riding my brother's dick. Or did you forget?"

"Actually, he was the one who..."

Putting her hand over Brad's mouth, Britt shook her head. "I told you that I didn't want details." It bothered her that she could feel him smiling beneath her fingers.

"So, um, hi." Nathan opened the bathroom door, wearing his boxers and t-shirt. He looked as uncomfortable as Britt felt. "I couldn't find my pants."

"They're half under the bed." Britt pointed out as she released her grip on Brad's face.

"No need to rush, though!" Brad chimed in as soon as he was able. "We're all adults here. And this can't be as awkward as the time you two almost slept together."

"You told him?" Nathan looked ready to gag.

Rolling her eyes, Britt put her hands on Brad's shoulders and dug her nails into his shoulders. Not enough to do any damage, just enough to remind him that she could. "He's my best friend, though I'm wondering why that is. How come you never me you're bi? I wouldn't judge you for that. But I am judging your taste in men."

"I take offence to that." Brad held a finger, but never stopped watching Nathan getting dressed.

"Oh shut up." Britt watched her brother fasten his pants. "So, are you two a thing now? Or is this a one-off? Because I need to know how many brain altering drugs I need to consume for this to no longer be weird."

"Umm. I don't know. It's been awhile, and the guys at the station..."

"They can go to hell if they have a problem with my brother. I took down a psychotic stalker with a gigantic forehead. Some doughnut eating meter maids won't be a problem." Britt smiled despite her best efforts. Nathan returned it, and she felt Brad's hand on hers. She retracted the claws.

"I think I'd like to try an actual date. Just not at any place associated with the Corinthos or Jerome families. They kinda don't like me," Brad offered with a sincere smile.

Nathan looked into Britt's eyes and she nodded her approval. Who was she to tell him no? Besides, she was looking forward to telling Maxie that her pussy was so trash Nathan had to convert to men from the trauma.

"Fine. One date. No chaperones."

Brad stood and crossed the tiny apartment to sling his arm around Nathan's shoulder, then spun and gave Britt a thumbs up. She clapped with joy when Nathan kissed him on the cheek.


End file.
